Wednesday 6 August 2014

In The Holidaysssssssssssssssssssss

Success Criteria


DEEP FEATURES
Brainstorms to identify main ideas to be used in writing.
Uses most of the main ideas in the writing.
Uses paragraphs and sequences ideas.
Attempts to end writing with a simple conclusions.
SURFACE FEATURES
Spells most words correctly.
Uses capital letters, full stops, commas, apostrophes, question marks, exclamation marks.
THE REWORKER / EDITOR
Rereads writing to edit out information that does not improve the message.
Rereads writing to edit in words and phrases that improve the message.
Uses a dictionary to identify and check spelling attempts.
Checks writing for basic punctuation.

Hi I am going to tell you about my awesome two week holiday.


On the first week of the holidays (Thursday) me, my brother and my friends Marcus and Stefarn went to Inflatable World. There were these big sumo suits with big boxing gloves and head gear so you won't get hurt and this big long Obstacle Course with long sticks to stop you. My favourite thing was this long bungee run and you had to hold this velcro thing and stick it on the wall. I got 19.5.


On one cold winter day me, my brother and my friend Jess went to the Movies we watched How To Train Your Dragon 2. My favourite part was when Hiccup came back to his mum. It was awesome.   


On the last week of the holidays (Friday) I went to my friend Lachlans house for a sleepover. We went on the X Box and we played Lego Star Wars. At the end we went to Peka Peka Wetlands and watched the train go by. It was really big it had lots of logs on it.

1 comment:

  1. I like the way you used paragraphs.
    I like the way you used capital letters, full stops and commas.
    I wish that you could end with a simple conclusion.
    what else did you do at the sleep-over

    ReplyDelete